Merry and Pippin go to school
by FencingBabe7
Summary: Merry and Pippin go to school and WOW eat! Please, please review
1. Merry and Pippin in English

Merry and Pippin go to school  
  
Merry and Pippin in English:  
  
Merry and Pippin were in the sixth-grade. In English they were reading Tuck Everlasting. Pippin just didn't understand why anyone would not want to stay young forever. "Think of all the years you could spend eating," he remarked.  
"I don't think they'd want to spend very many, Pip," Merry whispered.  
"That's not the point," the teacher told him, "You wouldn't have any friends, they would all die."  
"Get them to drink the water, too."  
"Then the world would get overpopulated."  
"The more hobbits the better," Pippin replied, merrily.  
The teacher retired to her desk in a huff. "I don't think she liked that," Merry told Pippin.  
"No talking," yelled the teacher, "Work on your assignment."  
"A devilish look appeared in Pippin's eyes. Across the room was a colorful pile. He motioned to Merry to follow and they crept over to the pile of markers. Merry pulled the top of a blue. "Ohhhh..Pippin it smells like blueberry," he whispered.  
"I wonder if it's eatable," Pippin whispered back and he bit off the top, "It's good, but needs more flavor. Hand me another one."  
It was ten minutes before the English teacher discovered the two hobbits, their faces covered in marks, still biting the tops off the smelly markers. "Don't eat those," she yelled, "They're markers. They might kill you."  
Pippin gave a big belch. "I don't feel so well," he groaned.  
He fainted. Merry started to check his friend and then he swayed and fainted too. The two hobbits were out for 30 seconds straight and then popped back up, perfectly fine. The rest of the students were amazed by their speedy recovery and decided that if 30 seconds out was the most it did to you, it was worth it to eat the markers.  
Before the teacher could stop them, most of the sixth graders grabbed markers and ate them. Unfortunately, most of them didn't find them quite as eatable as Pippin. Quite a lot of them passed out or threw up right away, not having a hobbit's immunity.  
The bell rang, as the teacher tried to stop the chaos and more students swooned or barfed. Pippin and Merry grabbed a few markers for lunch and ran off to band. 


	2. Merry and Pippin in Band

Merry and Pippin in Band:  
  
"Flute," Pippin told the band teacher, "I want to play flute."  
"I'll play clarinet," decided Merry.  
"Alright, but there's already a lot of people playing those instruments," said the band teacher.  
Merry and Pippin were an immediate success. Their notes were prefect, their rhythm was great and they were enthusiastic. They were quickly promoted to first chair of each section. The old first chairs, now second were furious and stuffed the hobbits into a tuba each.  
The hobbits were quite content for the first five minutes while they had a variety of markers to eat, but after running out of eatable things they were not pleased to be stuffed in the small space with no food.  
Pippin managed to squeeze out of the tuba and help Merry out. Then with the remaining marker (in the flavor they didn't like) they attacked the first flutist and clarinetist who had imprisoned them by drawing all over them.  
"EVILLLLLLL," screamed the first clarinet.  
"NOOooooooooooooooooooo," cried the first flutist, "My beautiful hair is all messed up and my prefect skin is green. You fool of a Took."  
Pippin looked carefully to make sure she didn't have a staff before saying, "The only fool here is you."  
The flutist shrieked and scratched Pippin with her long sharp nails. "Owwwwww," yelled Pippin.  
"Note to self," muttered Merry, " Watch out for evil looking people with long nails."  
"Back to work," yelled the band teacher, totally harassed that no-one was paying attention to him, "B flat scale."  
As the part of the class that wasn't killing Pippin started playing, Pippin grabbed a drumstick and sat down on the floor. "Time for second breakfast, I think," he said, chopping on the drumstick but even his teeth couldn't slice through the solid wood.  
"I don't think you're supposed to eat that," Merry told Pippin as he chewed on the end like a dog.  
"Wa 'eed 'ome mo' 'o 'ose 'arkers," Pippin replied, this mouth full of wood.  
"Get to work both of you," yelled the band teacher, grabbing the drum stick out of Pippin's hand and replacing it with a flute.  
Sulkily Pippin took the flute and started to play. The evil second flutist glared at him and looked at her mails carefully. Pippin shivered. He was going to have to look out for her. 


	3. Merry and Pippin in PE

Merry and Pippin in P.E.  
  
P.E. was a disaster for Merry and Pippin. They were playing basketball and needless to say neither Merry nor Pippin shot anywhere close to the basket. "When's second breakfast?" cried Pippin, trying to defend the basket from a person three times bigger than him.  
"I don't think they know about second breakfast, Pippin," Merry told him, in an equally hard situation with a basketball player.  
"What about luncheses, tea-time, supper-time, dinner-time, afternoon tea? They know about those don't they?"  
"I wouldn't count on it," Merry said, tripping over his overlarge sneakers.  
"I think it's time for second breakfast," Pippin said, determinedly and sat down in the middle of the basketball game and chewed on someone's watch that had been left on the floor.  
This ended when someone tripped over him causing them to fall flat on their face. "Get up," yelled the P.E. teacher, "What in the world are you doing in the middle of the floor?"  
"Eating second breakfast," replied Pippin, brightly, a watch strap dangling out of his mouth.  
His smile faltered as the P.E. teacher gave him a cold look. "Detention," she barked, grabbing the watch strap and pulling it out of his mouth.  
All the came out was a watch strap. Pippin had eaten the rest. The teacher was speechless for a minute and then quickly pushed Pippin back into the game. Pippin decided that there was absolutely no way he was going to play this. "Let's play a Shire game, Merry," he suggested.  
"CATCH!" screamed Merry.  
"That's not really a Shire game, but it's funner than this," Pippin called, as the ball bounced off his head.  
He ran for the ball and threw it to Merry who threw it back. There was someone in-between them. "Monkey in the middle," he yelled, grabbing the ball before the person in the middle could.  
The person in the middle turned to face him. "Uh-oh," squeaked Pippin.  
It was the evil flute player and she did NOT look happy. "RUN FOR IT PIPPIN!" Merry screamed.  
Pippin needed no telling twice. He turned tail and ran as fast as he could from those awful mails. Merry watched his friend pelting towards the boys locker room where he could be safe. Taking off his oversized sneaker, he threw it at the evil flute player. Not smart. The evil flute player came after him, no completely enraged. "Uh-oh," said Merry and he sprinted after his friend, even faster than Pippin, pursued by the evil flute player.  
The made it to the locker room just in time and slammed the door right in the evil flute player's face. "That's was close," breathed Pippin.  
"Much too close," Merry replied, "and I lost a shoe."  
"Who needs shoes anyway?" asked Pippin, taking his off, "Good respectable hobbit's don't wear shoes."  
He immediately stepped on a pencil. "Yeowwww," he screamed, jumping around on his unhurt foot.  
"Second note to self," muttered Merry, over his friends screams, "Always wear shoes in a school." 


	4. Merry and Pippin in Lunch

Merry and Pippin in lunch:  
  
"Second breakfast!" cried Pippin, as soon as he saw the cafeteria.  
"It's not called second breakfast, Pippin, its called lunch," Merry informed him.  
"I don't care, IT'S FOOD!!!!" Pippin exclaimed happily.  
"But we ate all the markers and we didn't bring lunch or money so how are we going to get food?" asked Merry.  
Pippin didn't answer, his eyes were fixed on a steaming cup of French fries on a near-by tray. He disappeared from Merry's side. Seconds later he was back carrying the French fries. "What's that?" asked Merry.  
"This, my friend, is a cup of tater thingies," Pippin told him.  
Merry took one and tried it, "They come in cups?" he asked, an evil look in his eye, "I'm getting one."  
He slipped away and was back with a cup of French fries. Pippin and Merry finished off their French fries in ten seconds, but of course that was not enough for a full grown hobbit. "They're even better than the way Sam makes them," Pippin said, licking his lips, "We must have more."  
They quickly formed a plan and snuck their way around the whole cafeteria stealing all the French fries in sight. They came back to where the started, lots of French fries in front of them. "This is what I call life," Merry murmured, pulling the first cup towards him.  
Their triumph was short lived. Quite a lot of people became suspicious of the fact that they were missing their fries and that Merry and Pippin had no less than fifty cups of them. People started coming over. "Where did you get those?" they asked suspicious.  
"Bought 'em," Pippin answered.  
"Whoa, you bring like fifty bucks to school?"  
"Yes."  
The kids looked speechless and some of them stole a few cups of French fries back. The real trouble didn't start until the evil flute player came over. "You didn't by any chance happen to steal my French fries, did you?" she asked in a falsely sweet voice.  
Merry backed up, trying to get out of range of those nails. Pippin wasn't so smart. "No," he said.  
He got scratched a second time and the evil flute player took as many fries as she could. "Ow," yelled Pippin, clutching his arm.  
"Stay out of the way of evil flute players," Merry said wisely.  
"You should have told me that before."  
"Sorry," said Merry, looking down at the pitiful remainder of the fries, "Are you up for stealing some other type of food?" 


	5. Merry and Pippin in Science

Merry and Pippin in Science:  
  
Well, they were supposed to be here but they were still at lunch. The minutes after the bell rang, they came in. The science teacher was not happy. "The bell rang ten minutes ago," she yelled.  
"We were having second breakfast," Pippin explained.  
"Detention," shouted the science teacher.  
"Not another one," Pippin said, sadly.  
They were playing the Bean Game. The beans symbolized fish in the Chesapeake Bay. There were fishermen and other people taking them out and putting them back in. Pippin didn't like the game. When it was his turn he scooped out a scoop of beans and took a mouthful. "They need to be cooked," he muttered, cracking them with his teeth.  
"I've got just the thing," Merry told him and grabbed the bunson burner from the counter.  
The hobbits got a good fire going and placed a beaker full of beans over it. "What are you doing?" yelled the science teacher.  
Pippin took some of the mixture out and tried it. "Nice," he commented, "Perfectly cooked."  
"You idoits," screamed the science teacher, "Do you know how many people have handled those?"  
"So?" asked Merry.  
The science teacher grabbed the beaker and dumped it into the sink. Both hobbits stared, their mouths hanging open. "You wasted perfectly good food," Pippin said, weakly.  
"Perfectly good food, nothing," snapped the science teacher, "Go to the office."  
The defeated hobbits walked sadly down to the office but perked up when they saw the bowels of candy on the admiastrator's desk. They spent the rest of the period gorging on candy. 


End file.
